Today I got an email from a reader saying that, "Sometimes what youre looking for is right in front of you" - so I looked "right in front" of me and waited for some sort of divine intervention. At that moment (and Im not making this up) I heard,
"Hi Still Looking" (Obviously he didnt say this, he knows my real name).
"Hi Homosexual", I replied (Obviously I didnt say this, I know his real name)
Homosexual and I have been friends for about a year now. He's fun, generous, and also my in-house supplier of the latest DVDs. My morning usually starts with him telling me about his evening and what he made for supper the previous night. Today I was particulary distracted with an important document and wasnt really paying attention, when he protested, arm on hip, "Still Looking! Are you listening to me?"
I shot him one of my how-dare-you-insult-my-honour-with-that-question looks, which he countered with a just-been-stabbed-in-the-heart-with-a-rusty-knife look. I eventually gave in with a never-mind-my-intricate-mortality-calculations, please-go-on-about-the-casserole smile.
To make up for my lack of interest, we had a coffee date after work to get the exact recipe for the casserole. (Kosher, Halaal and Vegetarian options). I turned down his invitation to set me up with one of his gay friends who had recently made a re-entrance into the world of hetrosexuality..only because I have to wash my hair that day.
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